Bike-like technology
Any new item or process is a potential challenge for our parents because it's harder for them to learn now than it was when they were younger. Some new technology is fine because, like riding a bike, it feels familiar. It won't require much training and, if your parents forget the training, they may be able to rely on old routines to guess how to use it. When you're looking to give your parents a gift that involves technology, or to help them replace a broken product in their home, consider these:
- Better versions of familiar objects including a photo frame that has digital photos displayed on it, and you set it up. A car with lane assist, a well-insulated mug, sneakers that don't require unlacing, bluetooth speakers, or e-bikes.
- New capabilities with familiar feel like a smart TV that can still access their local shows using a remote control, electronic magnifying glass, and modern hearing aids.
Technology old dogs don't want
Particular characteristics of technology make them an obviously bad fit once you think about it. A friend told me the story of pairing her hearing aid with her TV transmitter, and the pairing required her to take action when she heard the beep. This was a bad user interface for a hearing aid user. Your parents are likely to have hearing difficulties, even if the problems don't show up in conversations. Here are a few technology features that can cause problems for users who are old and getting older:
- Online accounts and keyless entry - require you to remember codes rather than just carrying physical keys
- Smart phones - many options, the most basic functions are not easier to access than the more obscure ones, requires fine motor and vision to make choices on touchscreen
- Key fobs - small buttons that can be accidentally pressed
- QR codes - require holding a phone steady in a particular position
- Automated phone systems - voice commands and key presses may be more challenging than human connection
These items exist in consumer electronics but are also likely to exist in the world your parents live in. You may be able to help by looking out for these things when you're spending time with your parents. Their local ATM may have too much glare to see the screen, or their pill bottles may be child-proofed and also elderly-proofed. Once you identify the problems, you can help your parents find workarounds.
When you have to bring in new technology
When helping your parents learn a new technology, give instructions in many formats. Pictures, written steps, and a grandchild-on-call can all be useful. Can you get on a FaceTime call to show them? Did you know that there's an option for them to give you remote control of their phone during a FaceTime call? That hack has come in useful several times in my family.
Anticipate that your parents will be frustrated and anxious by the new technology. Try to make things as logical as possible, so that even if they don't remember the right steps they can guess them. Once you've been through this frustration by them, you'll see where I'm coming from in discouraging new tech.
When they choose technology
Great! But be careful. Facebook scams abound, and they may not know the warning signs. On the other hand, social media and texting can be new ways to stay in touch with old friends or people with shared interests. What about switching between iPhone and Android? You'd have to convince me there's a really good reason. And the best reason would be that their tech support person (you?) is already comfortable in the operating system they want to switch to.
I've done some professional work with introducing new technology, and it's a common problem that people forget to account for the training, operations, and maintenance associated with the new thing. If you have those lined up, you're in good shape. But, like we said in the finance section, they will likely look to simplify at some point in the future. Be careful about technology that will continue to require high interaction, because your parents will eventually want to simplify and you don't want them to get locked into something that only works when conditions are precisely right.
Better living through technology
I love automated notifications and safety alerts. Auto-refill my medications? Yes, please! A reminder of my appointment tomorrow? Thanks! Porch lights that turn on automatically when it's dark out? How did I live without this? These are all things I enjoy in my daily life, and they're all potential safety supports for my parents. They're also potentials for frustration. As an adult child, you are likely going to find yourself encouraging your parents while they resist new technology. The main point I want you to take away is to lean on the side of less tech. Safety devices are the primary exception, and especially if the parents don't have to interact with them.
Hidden technology
Even the parent who wants to avoid technology may accept it if they don't have to interact with it. Pacemakers are pretty great, right? There are also many safety devices that shut off when things in the house get too hot or turn on when it gets cold or dark. Take care to balance safety with privacy. As I read when I was considering a hidden nanny camera many years ago: if you feel the need for a hidden camera, this is probably a sign that there are other problems in the situation. If you're feeling the need to hide air tags in your parent's car or to set up informed delivery in their mail box, it's also time for you to have some direct conversations with them. If they have not given you financial power of attorney (POA), it is both illegal and unethical for you to guess the password that they use for everything and log in to check on their accounts.
If they are happy for your help, your parents may be thrilled for you to share a Life 360 account with them and give remote access to their Ring camera. They may even ask you to monitor things and flag them when there's a problem. This is probably the best use of technology: serving as an assistant to your parents, with you working alongside the tech.
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Next step
Build a list of the technology your parents have or are planning to get, listing the support that might be needed and how to get that support.