Mother's and Father's Helpers
- Cleaning - it is common to bring in an individual or a service for weekly or biweekly to keep things clean. What is covered can vary significantly, and hiring an individual may give you flexibility to expand the scope as your parents' needs go up. Laundry is not typically covered but could be added in or hired separately from a pick-up service or drop off at a laundromat.
- Yard work - this is the other most common service to come on a regular basis. Mowing the grass is the primary task, but raking leaves, trimming trees, and removing snow may be even more important to prevent your parents from injuring themselves due to surging physical activity.
- Errands, groceries, and meal prep - delivery services and grocery pickup are readily available now if you have enough money and technology access. We have more information listed in the nutrition section. Your parents can save a little money if they work directly with an individual and set up recurring errand runs.
- Home repairs - your parents may be able to identify maintenance and repairs, but that doesn't mean they should climb on the ladders to do the work. (see also home maintenance and upkeep)
What's your role?
If you live close to your parents, you may be available to take on many of these tasks. And you may not mind. If you spend less time with your parents, it may not be possible for you to do the ongoing maintenance but you might still spend your visits doing repairs and trying to squeeze in useful tasks. But, you only have so much time and these may not be your greatest skills. Is this how they want to spend their time with you? Is it how you want to spend your time with them? If you're saying, "yes, I'd rather be useful than have to interact with them," maybe check yourself with that, too. Spending quality time with them will get easier the more you do it.
The tasks listed in here are those that can most easily be handed over to strangers. You can help define the jobs, hire the workers, and even manage the communications and payments once they're in place. These are all really helpful tasks! Your parents probably didn't have that same option to use technology and hire help for their parents, so it may seem impersonal to them. If that comes up, be prepared to remind them how you do spend time together.
Where do we find them?
Did you grow up where your parents live? If you have friends still in the area, ask if they know anyone who could help. They may know someone with available time who hasn’t been looking for this type of work but would be happy to do it. Your parents’ church or their friends’ adult children may also be available or have suggestions.
As an adult child, I recommend you introduce yourself to your parents' neighbors. Take your parents with you as you walk around to give out Christmas cookies or some other excuse to meet them. It's a good idea for all of us to know our neighbors, and it may work out that you or your parents can exchange phone numbers with this extra set of eyes and ears on their street. You can then reach out to them for leads on hiring help.
When hiring, your role as an adult child can be to help your parents with things done easily remotely: contact references, confirm insurance and licensing through online listings for bigger jobs, review scope and cost in advance, and be alert to home-repair scams that pressure for immediate payment.
If you don’t have connections in your parents’ community, their Area Agency on Aging may know of low-cost or volunteer chore and home-repair programs, and some communities offer help through faith groups, senior centers, or nonprofits like Rebuilding Together.
Trusted resources
Next step
Create a household task plan.