Plan around the slowest hour, not the best one
The mistake almost every family makes is building an itinerary around what everyone can do on their best morning. Plan for the worst afternoon instead. One real activity a day, with the rest of the day loose. Somewhere for your parents to retreat to that isn't the same room your toddler naps in. A pace that lets somebody skip a thing without it being a whole conversation.
Two things are worth saying out loud beforehand. Decide who is responsible for the kids, in words, because "the grandparents will watch them for a bit" is how a grandmother with a bad hip ends up chasing a four-year-old across a parking lot. And if your parents want to pay for some of this, let them — without it buying them extra obligations.
Vacations that actually work
- One big rented house. This is my default recommendation and the one families underrate. Everybody sleeps under one roof, meals happen on your own schedule, naps are free, and nobody is trapped in a restaurant when someone needs to lie down. When looking online for a house, filter for step-free entry, a ground-floor bedroom, and a walk-in shower — then call the host and confirm, because the accessibility filters on the rental sites are self-reported and frequently wrong. Ask for photos of the actual entry and bathroom.
- A cruise. Cruises are popular with multigenerational families for a real reason: you unpack once, there are elevators everywhere, food is always available, and the kids' clubs mean your parents can nap while your children are supervised and delighted. Book the accessible cabins early — they sell out a year or more ahead. Two honest warnings. Ports served by tender boats often can't be reached by anyone in a wheelchair, so read the itinerary. And the ship's infirmary is urgent care, not a hospital; anything serious means being taken off the ship at the next port, at your own expense.
- A beach or lake town you can drive to. Driving means no airport, no security line, and a car that leaves whenever your parents need it to. For a family with a lot of moving parts, control is worth more than distance.
- An all-inclusive family resort. One price, a kids' club, a nurse on the property, and a pool your parents can sit beside all day without walking anywhere. Check what "accessible" means at the specific property, not the brand.
If your family wants Disney
Families rave about Disney vacations. My friends say they are expensive but worth it, and that assessment applies to the parks, the resorts (lodging), and the cruises. What could make these trips go wrong? Heat and physical exertion.
Disney's Disability Access Service — the program that lets you wait outside the line — is no longer offered for those with limited stamina and difficulty walking. Instead, rent a wheelchair or an electric scooter, preferably from an off-site vendor before you go. Use it the whole trip even if your parents insist they don't need one; someone in your family will be happy to sit in it or hang their bag on it.
You can also add Lightning Lane, Attraction Queue Re-Entry, and Rider Switch to reduce standing in line. Universal Studios has related benefits to look into.
Getting there
If you're flying, book direct flights even when they cost more. A connection - or worse, a missed connection - with a tired parent and a small child is worth avoiding. I have a choice of three airports within two hours’ drive from my home, and it sometimes decreases my stress to drive to the furthest airport just so I can take a direct flight, rather than a connection from my close airport. Another transportation consideration is whether to drive to the airport or take a taxi or rideshare. Consider the cost of parking and the hassle of hauling your luggage into a parking shuttle, as well as how tired your parents will be after the flight home, and whether it’s better that they be driven home rather than driving after a long travel day.
Medical coverage away from home
If your parents are leaving the US, they should probably buy travel insurance. Medicare almost never pays for care outside the United States. The exceptions are narrow, with Medicare covering shipboard care only while a cruise ship is in a U.S. port or within six hours of one. Past that, your parents are paying out-of-pocket for medical care needed outside the U.S.
If your parents have a Medigap policy, plans C, D, F, G, M, and N include foreign travel emergency coverage — 80% of billed charges after a $250 deductible, capped at $50,000 for their lifetime, and only for emergencies that begin in the first 60 days of a trip. This is not a substitute for travel insurance on a big international trip, where travel evacuation costs can exceed $100,000.
Within the US, Medicare Advantage plans will cover urgent care and emergencies out of state, but they will generally not cover standard visits outside your parents’ home state (and sometimes not even outside their county). This matters if your parents are planning to "season" or snowbird outside their home community, and can be a problem even a few counties over within their state.
If you buy travel insurance, buy it soon after the first deposit you pay for a large trip. Most policies waive the pre-existing-condition exclusion only if you purchase within a short window of booking — often two or three weeks — and that waiver is the entire reason to buy it when your parents have ongoing health conditions.
Medications
Your parents should check that their destination state or country allows the medications they use. The three biggest destinations where this applies are Idaho (no marijuana, even for medical use), Singapore, and Japan.
Singapore - Alprazolam/Xanax, diazepam/Valium, lorazepam/Ativan, clonazepam/Klonopin, temazepam/Restoril, Zolpidem/Ambien, and Dextromethorphan (found in cough products) require prior approval. Cannabis, CBD, and dronabinol are prohibited.
Japan - Oxycodone, morphine, fentanyl, codeine, and Vyvanse require advance permission; amphetamines and dextroamphetamines (including Adderall) are prohibited.
One more thing before any vacation: suggest to your parents that they put a card in their wallets and a photo on their phone listing their medications and doses, conditions, doctors, insurance, and who to call. During air travel, they should keep medications in the original bottles in a carry-on — never checked — with a few extra days' worth.
Cost
Americans spend an average of $8000 on family vacations each year. When budgeting, consider all of the travel costs but also things like wheelchair rental. A mobility scooter rented at Disney costs $65 per day, but may be acquired offsite for as little as $25 per day. Manual wheelchairs can cost as little as $50 per week to rent but may feel more like “old person” items than electric scooters, which can be talked up as fun technology that your family can only access because of having a grandparent with them.
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